How To Plan Your Dream Wedding
It’s been 21 days since my own wedding has come and gone and I can’t help but look back and feel a sense of great pride in how our day turned out. One of the elements that was most important for us was to have an intentional day that was low stress and surrounded by love. I am no pro, but I enjoyed every aspect of planning our dream wedding and I hope you find my suggestions helpful while designing your own!
Visualize
What do you want your wedding day to be like?
But really though! It’s easy to get pushed and pulled around right after getting engaged, by a flutter of family suggestions or social media algorithms telling you what all you need.
The first exercise I would HIGHLY recommend any couple to-do is this:
Sit down together and on separate notebooks journal how you imagine your dream wedding day. This is an unfiltered visual.
What does your wedding morning look like? How is the weather outside? What do you spend your day doing? Who are you with? What kind of food do share with your loved one? Write it all down- from start to finish. No judgement, just get it on paper.
Last part is sharing! Take turns reading what you wrote with your partner and remember its OKAY if they are different!
My husband and I did this exercise and it was priceless. No, not everything we both wrote down we planned— like he didn’t actually have hot wings for dinner at our wedding…But the essence of what we both wrote about brought us into awareness of what truly mattered for our dream wedding. And for us, that was somewhere warm, somewhere peaceful, somewhere out in nature. This visual opens the door to what matters to you BOTH- because regardless of what anyone says your wedding day should be a culmination of both people, not just what the bride wants and that starts with being honest and open in what you visualize.
Align
Find the place and the people that support your vision.
When we first did our visual exercise we actually both visualized having an elopement. Just the two of us. That vision transformed over the months and thankfully we had settled on a place that supported both elopements and small intimate weddings. I’ll be honest, we didn’t tour several venues- nor even visit ours before booking it— we simply landed on it because it matched the essence of what we were going for. Peace, tranquility and a touch of cacti.
So before getting blown away by all the venue packages- get a sense of what matters to you and if the space you choose aligns with your visual. I personally wanted somewhere that would allow us the freedom to incorporate what we wanted and not limit us to using their “approved vendor list”.
Secondly, align with who. Who do you want to be a part of your day? As I shared, that vision transformed for us over the course of our planning. For me, it started with my grandma. I am lucky to still have her living at 98 years young. She’s one of the most precious people in my life and I wanted to have her witness the most special day of mine.
On the flip side, I want to empower you to remember that you don’t have to invite everyone you think you should. We had 12 people total- including ourselves. This meant limiting the people we could have- and it also meant not an immediate +1 invite. This can be hard for some people to grasp, but at the end of the day it’s about the two of you- and if there’s anyone who would really get angry then maybe they shouldn’t be there in general.
Focus
On what really matters.
In a world that is constantly trying to sell us more and more, focus on what really is essential.
For us that was:
Delicious Food
Incredible Photography
Beautiful music ( we created our own playlists)
People we love
Another part of staying focused is staying organized. As I was our sole wedding planner I created email folders to keep vendor communication tracked, excel sheets to log financials, and day-of timelines for everyone to know what was going on. This helped tremendously as wedding day approached and led to no unexpected surprises.
Ultimately, focus on staying strong to your shared vision. I can’t tell you how many people may try and imprint what they wish they had done on their wedding day or what they think you should do— stay connected to your core and don’t falter under pressure, but lean on your partner to talk through what will make you both at peace.
Gratitude
Along the way goes a long way.
In the beginning, I made a self undeclared pact that I would not be a bridezilla— heck, I don’t even like that phrase. To me that brings up Real housewives vibes and some snobby girl in a white tiara demanding everyone around. Instead, I challenge you to make time in your planning process for gratitude to others. Our wedding day would not have been the same without the hard work and mindfulness of those that helped to create our vision. For me it has always been important to let people know how much they mean to you. Ultimately, that shows through in the way you treat others- but also a thoughtful gift, kind tip, or written note goes along way.
I’m going to write a blog featuring all the small business owners I used in our wedding, but some ideas are below:
Hand written notes as table place cards
Personal Gift boxes
Reusable thank you note
Lastly, share gratitude to your future husband/wife. It’s not unusual for wedding planning to cause a bit of strife between a couple- remember at the end of the day, this is all one day that goes by in a flash. Be kind to those who are by your side and the whole experience will be that much lighter.
LET it Go
Experience it all
There will come a point in your planning- and you’ll know it deep down- that it’s time to let go. Drop the planner, close the Pinterest boards, stop the planning and experience the ride. I can’t emphasis how important this is in order to truly be able to enjoy all that you’ve built. There will always be thoughts in your head that say “Well what if I added xyz”, but unless it’s a table stakes item i.e. food, shelter, clothing etc. It will be okay- and it’s time to just let it go.
So happy planning soon-to-be weds! This time in your life goes by SO fast- so despite any anxiety on logistics try and enjoy planning your dream wedding!
Comment below what resonated with you and share if you have any other helpful tips!
xoxo
Cheers!
