If Not Now, Then When? My First International Retreat
If not now, then when?
These famous words have been uttered throughout history to prompt action, seize the day, and summon the courage our minds so often hold back.
It all started when I was catching up with a friend from work who had recently returned from a yoga retreat. I was so excited to hear about her experience — her time abroad on her first international women’s retreat. She’s one of those beautiful souls who always focuses on the positive, but I could tell something was weighing on her.
“It just wasn’t what I expected,” she said with a sigh of dismay. I listened as she recounted the retreat, sharing how many participants seemed to use it as an opportunity to "go wild," the yoga leader tried to force "personal development" (but was clearly unequipped), and, overall, the trip left her more exhausted than relaxed.
Hearing this infuriated me. I actually felt angry. I thought, How hard is it to host a retreat you’d want to attend yourself? My friend had paid all that money, made the effort to travel internationally, and spent months looking forward to the experience — only to feel undernourished and underwhelmed.
And that’s when it clicked. If not now, then when? From that moment on, I dove headfirst into planning my first-ever women’s international yoga retreat.
Discovering The Unwind
For a few years, I had been on and off trying to find resonance with my newsletter. You see, my newsletter was first named The Unwind, inspired by my slogan: “Enjoy that waiting-for-that-glass-of-wine read.” It’s the feeling I wanted people to have when they read it — relaxed, light, and completely at ease.
When it came time to name my retreat, I wanted something that would perfectly capture the experience I was striving to create. That’s when it clicked: The Unwind. It felt like the natural choice — a chance to bring the essence of my newsletter to life in a real-world, in-person experience. After all, that’s exactly how I wanted women to feel during the retreat — not drained by an overwhelming agenda or a packed yoga schedule, but instead discovering what it truly means to unwind.
Go Big or Go Home
I think I first heard that phrase when I moved to Texas, and looking back at my ambitions for my first retreat, I realize I fully embodied the Go Big or Go Home mentality.
Pictured above is the villa I rented — yes, the whole freakin’ villa — in none other than the Turks and Caicos Islands.
I felt drawn to Providenciales, a small, gorgeous island in the Caribbean, as I had traveled there many times with my Texas family. I felt comfortable navigating the island, and since it’s just a four-hour flight, it seemed like the perfect “dip my toes” into international waters kind of place. I also wanted to offer something different. With so many yoga retreats saturating Mexico and Costa Rica, I thought Turks and Caicos would give people the chance to visit somewhere perhaps lesser known.
That said, Turks and Caicos is absolutely breathtaking — but it comes at a price. After receiving my business credit card in the mail, I put $12,000 down to reserve this villa before even launching the retreat. There’s no such thing as a Caribbean discount in Turks! No turning back now, I thought. Just do the thing, right?
The other area where I went big was with the private chef. I’ve been on group trips before, and one thing I’ve learned about myself when traveling is that if I’m not properly fed, it doesn’t matter where I am — my energy is shot. I wanted the women who came on the retreat to feel truly “taken care of” and to find joy in the food they ate, much like Julia Roberts rediscovering the joy of eating in Eat, Pray, Love. So, Chef Hermes was my guy. After researching several chefs on the island, I resonated most with him, and we began collaborating on a menu that reflected the fresh, vibrant cuisine I envisioned for us all to enjoy.
I was determined to make this the kind of retreat that brought comfort, ease, and the utmost tranquility for the women who joined. But to do that, I knew I had to jump all in.
After the leap
After finalizing all the other details for the retreat, I officially launched it in late August 2023. I was absolutely ecstatic to share this big dream with “the world.” I had put some feelers out there and received so many positive responses from women, all saying how excited they were to go. I was confident the launch would be a huge success.
Then came expectation versus reality. What I realized most during the launch phase was how my own expectations and inner self-doubt became my greatest thieves of joy. On day one, one of my dear friends, who had helped me so much during the brainstorming phase, was the first to book. Her “leap” of faith, as I call it, meant everything to me.
The next few months proceeded slowly but surely with bookings. By November, I was halfway full, but I couldn’t shake the anxiety. I remember telling one of my mentors how fearful I felt — fearful of failing to fill the retreat, of “not being enough.” Each message from someone explaining why they couldn’t attend felt like a dagger to my soul. I had never sold something so deeply personal before, and every single rejection hit hard.
My mentor, who has led countless trainings and programs herself, calmly reminded me that June felt like lightyears away for most people and that the spots would fill in time. Her calm demeanor settled my anxious little soul. Slowly, I began to shift my expectations. Maybe success didn’t have to look like selling out in the first few days. Perhaps success was already in the first steps — in setting out on this lesser-traveled path, in having even one person believe in me, in simply doing the thing.
This is what I’ve learned about taking a leap. We often think the jump is the scariest part, but it’s actually the free fall — the moment after you “do the thing” — that feels the most terrifying. That “Oh crap, what if no one even cares?!” kind of moment.
In the end, the women who were meant to come, did. By the end of January, I was completely sold out. My months of talking my poor husband’s ear off about the “what ifs” suddenly felt so silly and distant. The time was finally coming.
Time For Takeoff
Hosting a retreat is no easy business. There are so many little details to manage. But as someone who deeply loves to travel, hosting a retreat abroad felt like a natural way to invite others into an experience I cherish.
On our first day in Provo, Joe and I arrived a day early to scout out all the little gems on the island. One of those gems was Smith’s Reef, where we took the group on day one for a beach day filled with snorkeling, crystal-clear water, and a whole lotta sunshine.
What’s Meant to Be
Five days, four nights filled with laughter, delicious meals, new adventures, and newfound friendships. These photos don’t do justice to our time, but they hold precious memories that I’ll forever cherish.
What I discovered in hosting my first international retreat is this:
When we take a leap of faith in something we dream of, in something we believe and know in our hearts, there is always the possibility that we might fail. That, yes, we can fall short and have to try again.
But there is also the possibility that we blossom. That everything we envisioned comes to life, and the reality turns out even better than we imagined.
I spent so much time fretting over who would join my retreat, but what I see now is that these women were always meant to come. Witnessing their transformation, their moments of joy and connection, reminded me of how precious these finite moments truly are.
This experience has shown me that leaps of faith can lead to the most beautiful, unexpected outcomes.
So here’s my parting invitation to you: What leap are you waiting to take? And if not now, then when?
